Sunday 20 July 2008

ok...im tired, so...

ok, sorry. breifly, Liam's amazing I love him, why was I ever ambivalent?
mum and I have just had a huge laugh- I'll tell you more later,
I'm paying 80 quid for a course that's supposed to train you into having perfect pitch... hope it works!!!
I'm now going to sleep.

Friday 11 July 2008

endings

endings. I'm not very good at moving on to the next thing; I always spend time fussing over the ending! Ivan (pronounced eevan) and I went for a burger (nearly typed buger then, and attractive as he is, we are both attached! anyway...) and we chatted away and when he asked if I had a girlfriend, I told him "ye...his name's Liam" with a cheeky grin and then we spent ages talking about what is to me quite a dull (not to mention awkward) subject. Now I wish I'd brushed it off as being "dull and can we talk about something else, please?"! I will miss the PHd's. they're all such vibrant and interesting characters!

Aah, well. I've Facebook'd him, so...

anywhoo, now I'm procrastinating from packing, so I will bid you my fondest farewell, and, bouquet in hand, I shall depart.

Bye!
Tschuss!
Au revoir!
Konichiwa!
Love you!

R
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Wednesday 9 July 2008

gospel choir

i think i may be able to lead this choir with some success after all! just started writing a song for it- with success!!

slow day, but good!

not much to say really... except that it was interesting but not too strenuous, which is nice. I think the rather comical truth is that I just dont like liam's haircut. but how to tell him without offending?

Tuesday 8 July 2008

Mr C

Mr C is a music teacher who played trumpet in the orchestra of Pirates. He sent me an email today saying that pirates was...
"A fantastic success IMO. Congratulations to you and the entire cast. Although only involved for a short time, I could see that the cast were inspired by your performance and level of professionalism. You are a credit to the music dept and school. A memory you should cherish for years to come."

fMRI ing

blood sample, wait for 3 hrs, learning about the phisical magnetic mechanism that MR relies on, tests, fMRI the participant, more tests, go home. That was my working schedule today!

Independance

I arrive at my accommodation for the week in Manchester university campus, where I will be doing work experience about neuroscience (details to follow!), after the office has closed, and so am forced to seek assistance elsewhere; A very kindly very Manchurian security guard lady shows me to my "digs", explaining to me the mechanisms for the use of the various keys. Her uniform, in combination with the institutional off-white walls and graphitied door of the dingy kitchen put me in mind of a prison. Strongly. Very strongly.

Shortly, once I’ve figured out where everything is, and how it works, I install myself a bit further into the infinitesimal room, which I’m pleased to report is by now growing on me; in spite of it’s institutionalness, it has a charming character, added to significantly by the inescapable clutter that seems to follow me everywhere, and also probably my quilt, which is covered in large coloured numbers. Less prisony now!

I telephone Mum, who’s pleased to know I still exist. I then telephone Liam (boyfriend) who was very sad that he missed seeing me in Pirates, especially as he will now not see me for two further weeks; he says he’s missed me enough for one! He’s such a sweetie! I think I do like him. Hmm... I think I’ll go to Canal Street one of these evenings.

Bedtime. As I’ve variable internet access, I can’t catch up on Dr Who, or for that matter, keep my blog up to date, so this week’s blog will go up as this single post, and perhaps an additional few, if I get it up before the week is out. next week’s will be the same.


Monday morning was odd. I felt very free and independant, but also very lonely. The day’s work was eventful; I found out the poor woman who organised this for me has been (I can only infer) so busy that she got confused about the date I was coming, as she told me she was expecting me next week! Most of today I spent attending interesting meetings about;

· The use of fMRI for studying schizophrenia patients performing cognition tasks that put a large pressure on the active memory, (I will do this tomorrow)

· Interview and then fMRI on unmedicated ADD/ADHD patients performing tasks that stimulate their unregulated “callous and unemotional” behaviours. (Friday!)

· Simultaneous EEG and fMRI on people being caused to anticipate and subsequently experience pain.

I guess a little bit of scientific explanation is in order. fMRI is functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging and refers to the use of a scanner that uses the relative intensity of hydrogen atoms in a structural scan of the brain (this stage is actually sMRI, and a separate thing from fMRI, and can be used separately –structural MRI – but is required for fMRI also, as it forms the basis of the images that are to be analysed) to the intensity of oxyhaemoglobin in the functional scan to locate the areas with the greatest blood flow to them, and therefore the greatest activity occurring within them. The interviews asses the severity of the psychopathy of the patient. EEG uses electrodes placed on the scalp to detect activity of brain areas by detecting brain waves. (Yes brain waves exist!)

Aside from that it was domestic minutiae. This unfortunately included the extermination of a horrid bug in the kitchen when I was attempting to prepare myself some food. YUK!

Oh, and I’ve finally seen Dr Who! What a series climax! Wow!

Saturday 5 July 2008

The Ambivalence of Closing Night

ahh... closing night. the very essence of ambivalence is encased herein. The smell of the grease-paint and the roar of the crowd... for the last time in this role. The illogical but inescapable feeling that you will never have as good a role/cast/show again. The enthusiasm and self confidence from your success, and the deflated flatness of the lastness of a last night. When I did Les Miserables, with much the same cast, I cried for two hours after the closing night.
This part has suited me really well. And the cast was just right for me... well the principles anyway. I shall miss it! and I shall miss the people too. And most of all, the chance to feel thoroughly important. Well not most of all. Part most, people next, importance second.

I must apply for a theatre school.

I must get back to writing too.

I must also get some sleep.

I told you I was ambivalent.


Pirate King
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oh wow!

oh wow! I just gave the BEST performance of my LIFE! I'm the Pirate King in this production of Pirates of Penzance; for those G&S virgins out there, that's a big role in a big show! I love theatre SO much! wow! I'm off to Manchester tomorrow, so I'll go to bed soon...

Rx

Thursday 3 July 2008

love or convenience?

I am fabulous at ambivalence. It is one of my especial talents. How do I know that I am in love with my bf? I know I love him and feel tender toward him, and he is very attractive...but... well, for a start he's not actually my type, and furthermore I'm not as attracted to him as I sortof think I ought to be. ... hmmm... I feel very tender toward him, but... not really that passionate. I love him, but im not sure im in love with him. AAAGGH! Help! ...

R
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Question

OK, here's your periodical question; What is the importance of George Bush's left big toenail in relation to the spiritual origins of life?
Rx

Welcome!

Hello! Come one, come all! most probably for now though, come just me. Welcome to my world! (except to me of course, as I'm already there!) This is my attempt to channel my "ness" into something a little more tangible and enjoyable, and what better way than with the assistance of our (archaelogically speaking - im not an archaeologist, but I like saying that!) Brand Spanking (?!) New Tinternet!

To get to know me some, go see my Profile (once I get around to writing one!)

Cheers,

Reuben
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